In my last facebook rant regarding the realm of the paranormal, I think some of my friends may have thought that I was leaving it all behind in pursuit of something new… and I apologize for giving you all that impression. That is really not the case at all – what I feel happening is just me renewing and reaffirming my connection with it. Realigning where my place is within all of it. One of the things I have come to realize in this realm is that you can’t go through the kind of stuff my family and I went through, and just leave it. It won’t let you.
My intention regarding my relationship with the paranormal is to get real with it, and to be real within it. That’s a hard thing to do in this community… to be real with it. To find your flow in it. For some time now after our radio show, I have kind of stifled my core beliefs out of fear of hurting the feelings of others that I work with within the community. I don’t want to place distance between myself and my friends who might get hurt or angered by what I might express. There is also that whole thing… you know, the friends who don’t know my background… who always say, “You actually believe in ghosts”? Well yeah… I do. And… I also believe that people are haunted by a lot more than ghosts, too.
But no intentions to leave anything – it’s kinda what I do, and I feel like I might be kinda ok at helping other people through it. So as I write and explore and ramble, my original stated intention I guess, was for me to get beyond the need to make you feel comfortable : )
I need to realign and ground myself in it. I need to be honest about my experience within it, and to express my beliefs about it. As I said before, I’m going to piss a lot of people off… but there’s no way for me to evolve out of the current mind-funk without free expression. So, I hope you can love me anyway.
For years I have traveled the paranormal conference and convention circuit talking about ghosts and hauntings, and one of the statements that I repeated over and over again in lectures… “About 99.9 % of the cases that I have investigated aren’t actually legitimate hauntings at all”.
I would like to correct that statement; the truth is that just about 100% of the people I have investigated are in fact… haunted. They have invited me into their lives, and time and time again I have discovered people who are absolutely haunted. They are tormented and tortured and live in fear of something they don’t understand… but it’s not always by ghosts and entities. Ghosts aren’t the only thing that dwell in the darkness; there are other things much worse.
Sometimes it’s easier to say there’s a supernatural entity coming into your room at night, than to admit you’ve been cutting yourself. Sometimes it’s better to say there’s a ghost in your home, than to admit that there is a bad parent or abusive spouse doing bad things to you. Sometimes, it’s easier to convince yourself your hearing ghostly voices in your home than to admit to yourself you have a substance abuse problem. Some people are haunted by broken hearts that won’t mend. Some people are haunted by the fear of leaving their house, or hoarding. It often out-pictures to the person as a ghost or demon or entity that won’t leave them alone. And yes, every once in a great while we encounter a legitimate paranormal case that we can’t explain – more about those in an upcoming rant.
If we know that the majority of our cases are manifesting themselves as psychological disturbances, substance and alcohol abuse and dysfunctional family environments… and not so much as ghosts…. then as investigators we have an obligation to our clients to have practical plans in place to deal with those issues when they come up. Real help. There are a lot of paranormal teams out there that have invested thousands of dollars in technical gizmos… but don’t have a rolodex with some crisis intervention phone numbers in it.
Remember, we are not professional counselors… but it is our job to get them connected to the professional counseling that they need.
Schools have counselors for kids who are dealing with a dysfunctional or abusive family environment – and they are free. There are a lot of substance abuse programs out there as well that you can refer a client to as well – and they are free. Local churches, clergy and chaplains are great resources that will help you. Call and find psychologists in your area who can be ready to deal with psychological trauma, and refer your clients to them. It’s your job as investigators to assess what is happening, and refer them to the help that they need. In cases of abuse – you are mandated to report it if you find it. Have the numbers in your Rolodex and ready to go in case you need them. That’s your job. Sometimes we can’t just rub a crystal on their forehead, or perform a house blessing and declare them healed. They have to do the work to choose how they are going to show up within each and every day. We can empower – but It’s there’s to do and learn and grow.
Be ready to hear that you don’t know what you’re talking about. When you shine light into other people’s darkness, it can bring up some very ugly truths for them that they may not be ready to face. The hardest thing for haunting victims to do is face the darkness. And your grand ideas of healing and resolution can be terrifying to them. Some people are haunted because they insist upon it. And they will give you every reason in the book why your suggestions won’t work. Always be willing to offer help, but also be willing to release those clients that don’t accept it. Sometimes the people that we encounter just insist upon carrying a ton of bricks. And once in a while, we can only lighten it one brick at a time, But it’s not our job to carry the load for them. Lots more ramblings in upcoming rants : )
So today, I’m looking over my little website, and seeing it for the crumbled shambles that it is. Since the demise a few years ago of “Encounters”, it has been little more than another annoying ‘thing’ that I have to tend to. There is no content on it whatsoever… I have to laugh a little because it is a real glimpse into how I seem to feel these days about the paranormal. Scattered, confused and a little uncaring.
Ever since my brother Tom, my wife Trish and I did the episode for “A Haunting”, I have felt a ton of bricks unload from my shoulders. The producers did such a great job… and while it’s accuracy is not at 100 percent, I am satisfied enough with it that I don’t feel I am obligated anymore to stand up in conferences and conventions and tell the same story over and over again. When I first started speaking about this, it was because I knew others were out there who had gone through.. or are going through now… a similar experience. I wanted them to know that they weren’t alone, and they weren’t crazy. I really feel now that in the last decade, the paranormal community has done that.
So… in reflection of the last decade or two, our paranormal community has really seen and been through a lot. We have watched all the ghost and bigfoot and ufo shows come and go now. Some were a bitter pill to swallow. I didn’t appreciate the hillbillies and ridiculous characters that represented us on TV as toothless idiots. I wasn’t real tolerant of the well meaning people who totally bamboozled amateur investigators into walking around every bed and breakfast in America with blinking light machine EMF toy thingies that do absolutely nothing to help detect ghosts. Boy… we sure bought a lot of gadgets that don’t do shit. There were a lot of paranormal programs on TV that I really enjoyed as well… but few and far between. We made a lot of people rich… and we also destroyed a lot of people. Think about the lives of some of these former cast members, where they are today and the healing they have had to work through.
So…. now what? We are starting to come out the other side of this generations fascination with ghosts and hauntings… and where are we now? What to do? How to move forward? I dunno. I was force-fed just like everybody else, I have been overdosed right up to my eyeballs. I am so infected and injected with bullshit and flashing lights and the phrase, “what was that ?”, that I am much like my little website these days …. a shambles.
So… as a person who has been through ‘the spin’… I really find myself in a place where I need to come back to a place of balance, and center. I have to remind myself why I am here in the first place, and what I have to contribute in a positive way. I have to remember that there are real people out there who are really frightened by something they don’t understand, and it’s my place to help make sense of it.
In moving forward…. I’m going to piss a lot of you off. Quite a bit in fact.
But after the ten year trip down the rabbit hole.. I’m ready for some real truths. I’m ready to shine light into dark places. Even into the dark spaces of my own misguided intentions.
For over 30 years the Booger Man was present in our lives, tormenting and torturing us. It moved into our house in 1968, and followed us from place to place until my mother’s death in 2009. After that, it disappeared almost as fast as it had first made itself known to us. But it didn’t leave without a fight.
This book chronicles the events of the violent haunting that plagued my family. It is a real and accurate account of the incidents as near as we are able to recall them. It is a hellish and frightening look into the terrifying realm of the supernatural.
My wife Trish, my brother Tom and I share our story – and this book – in the hopes that others who are experiencing similar events in their lives may find comfort in the fact that they are not alone. Our prayer is that those who may be afflicted by such events can find hope and empowerment in our story.